I'm going to become a hermit and it's all Netflix's fault

But seriously, people. Don't they know it's a dangerous, dangerous thing to allow someone like me access to Instant Queue? That a good portion of what I want to see as well as stuff I'd never think to watch on my own, being readily available to me without my ever having to leave my bed is a the best way to ensure that I will start exhibiting Unibomber tendencies (just the not leaving the house part, not the bombing stuff. that just seems messy and sad)

It's a marvelous thing, though, folks. Especially when you get home at 1:30am from work and are too braindead to do anything remotely productive.

So, short summaries of what I've seen, what's crap and what lands in the pile of "WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS SOONER"

Movies:

Caffeine - Wants to be the British version of Waiting. Can't quite get there, which is sad because it's not like Waiting's some piece of brilliance (and yes, Asher, I worked in a restaurant and I still think the movie's crap) But Callum Blue is in it, who I'll get to later, and he's adorable. Oh, also Katherine Heigl, sporting a mediocre British accent pre-Knocked Up fame and the word vomit that came in every one of her interviews thereafter.

Two For The Road - Audrey Hepburn, Albert Finney. Not great in terms of script, though they do some interesting stuff with the way it's shot, but they're both so charming I liked it anyway.

How to Steal A Million - How come no one ever told me Peter O'Toole was funny? Yes, he's pretty, we all knew that. But FUNNY! And Audrey Hepburn again (come on, it's me) in this pseudo-heist romantic comedy makes it full of awesome. It's not quite Charade, but almost. Almost.

2 Days in Paris - Some of it is hysterical, fantastic writing that I think is on par with the best of Woody Allen (no seriously, Adam Goldberg's character is pretty much Woody Allen in everything he's ever...played himself in) and some of it is ridiculous and just nonsensical. But Julie Delpy wrote, directed, and stars in the thing and I love her and this might be the one time I don't think it's an exercise in narcissism. Even if it is, it's self-deprecating enough to win me over. Plus, I love her.

About Last Night - Complete and utter shit. Hate Demi Moore. Can't believe it's based on a Mamet play. Scraping the barrel of the stuff that was good about the brat pack. Also hate Jim Belushi.

TV:

Dead Like Me - Odd and occasionally too angsty, though I blame the lead (Ellen Muth, who is fine and occasionally likable but just makes me think of a poor man's Ellen Page) for the latter part. But the writing's solid and the rest of the cast is great and it's fun to watch. Also, Callum Blue easily steals every scene he's in. Maybe it's because he gets the best lines. Maybe it's just cause he's pretty and British. I don't really care either way.

30 Rock - Fine, I'm converted, leave me alone. I still hate Tracy Morgan/Jordan/whatever. I still want to marry Alec Baldwin.

Party Down - Rob Thomas + Paul Rudd + many, many Veronica Mars cameos thanks to Rob Thomas makes this show the best thing I've seen in a while. Also, it's just fantastic. As is everyone in it (minus Jennifer Coolidge who replaces Jane Lynch in the last two episodes of the first season - don't worry I'm not ruining anything) But seriously. If you watch nothing else, watch this. I actually laugh out loud through. Which, while I may like 30 Rock now, I still don't do that often watching it.

Californication - All I have to say is Larke, you're crazy. I love this show. It's awesome. The writing is awesome. And I never got the David Duchovny thing before, but I get it now. Oh man, do I get it.

Wow I've rambled...and I didn't even cover everything. See? HERMIT. Netflix is going to ruin my social life. I'm pretty okay with that.

this will never get old

every time i think, this time it will be less cute. but no, it just gets even. more. adorable. i want.

a haiku for the MTA, per vitya's suggestion

I Smell Like Bus

MTA, you ass
I hate you forever more
you can suck it. hard.

A little "the-economy-is-crap" humor

From Overheard in NY:

Guy on phone with mother: No, mom! I'm not going to walk on Wall St today. (pause) Because I don't feel like getting hit by a falling body, that's why.

--Broadway & John St



I kind of want to marry this guy, whoever he is.

2009 and assorted trips to various places

So, the Lineup for Lollapalooza was announced. And um, let's just say the trip to Chicago I was planning for May is now being scheduled to the first weekend in August. Who's up for a road trip? Or just a trip? I've already half convinced two people to go.

Second, my cousin is offering to use his free flyer miles to fly me out to Germany over the summer. Free. Free. Germany. Now I just need to find my passport...

Then, in October I'm going to take my first official (and unofficial, come to think of it) trip to Vegas, quite probably smuggling one Vitya with me. For drinks and dancing and Nikole and oh yeah, Justin Timberlake too.

And lastly, my parents in some bizarre twist of fate were out at a charity auction (what?) and won a five night stay in some undoubtedly absurdly rich person's condo in Orlando. ORLANDO. Land of Disneyworld and beaches and palm trees and far, far away from the suckfest that is New York Winter. So yeah, that's my Christmas, folks.

I take it back, 2009. You aren't a miserable fucker, after all.

Easter/Passover Productiveness? Maybe?

So I don't celebrate Easter or Passover for reasons that anybody who has met me for more than five seconds knows. I mean, I like bunnies and the chocolate is fantastic. And I like Asher and he's all about Passover. But the only reason I look forward to Easter/Passover is because that means my birthday's almost here (yes, I am a selfish brat and I do QUITE enjoy my birthday unlike some of you 'wah wah I'm getting old don't want to celebrate or have fun' pissers. I love you still)

But fuck it, I've got a three day vacation from work (which will start as soon as these 80 DVDs go out and I can go home...) so I made a list of things I want to do this weekend. You know, instead of not getting out of bed and watching crap TV all day, which I have done for several weekends in a row now and has its own special place in my heart. But damnit, I will be productive.

So my Easter/Passover weekend will consist of the following (ideally):

1. Re-reading Franny and Zooey. Just cause.

2. Doing the Pilates video that I saved the youtube links for. I'm cheap, what of it?

3. Laundry.

4. Writing 20 pages of something. Of ANYTHING.

5. Waking up before noon.

6. Grocery shopping. Actually grocery shopping, not buying hummus and bread and calling it a day.

7. Finishing my taxes.

8. Buying the birthday dress.

9. Refraining from buying the birthday shoes until after my next paycheck.

10. Walking across one of the bridges (Brooklyn, Williamsburg, I'm not particular) if it's nice out just because I never have. Who's with me? :D

So this'll serve as a checklist, at the very least. We'll see how much I actually get done.

Let's play a game...

It's called, guess which one of our friends and/or fellow DDW'ers said this:



Man reading Richard Scarry's What Do People Do All Day?: What? Poets do not write poetry all day! They work shitty jobs in design firms and sell things to assholes from San Diego! (turns page) And writers don't write all day! They pick up laundry for Park Slope bitches!

--Children's Section, Barnes & Noble, Court Street